This weekend, I was visiting a friend and as we were watching the weather forecast she made a profound statement. Now at the time,she had no idea her statement carried with it clarity, vision,mindset, and awareness. But I did. I knew the moment she made the statement everything changed. The butterfly effect in action. So, what the heck did she say?
She said that she felt that nothing ever goes her way, that nobody is there for her, that the world conspires to make her life horrible, that if anything went wrong then everything goes wrong. She said that she is blind, nearsighted,farsighted, a victim, helpless, unable, unwilling,and unmotivated.
You may already be aware that she didn't say those exact words. What she actually said was,"Oh, great, I'm off onTuesday and Wednesday,and it's going to rain;when I have to work it's sunny and when I'm off, it rains! That's just not fair."
Her statement opened a dialogue that lasted about 3 hours. I was struck with a quote I'd heard long ago...How we do one thing is how we do everything.....So she and I began looking at her day and seeing how she instantly focused on a neutral event and interjected a "negative" connection that put her into a powerless state.
We looked at several events throughout her day, her week and her month and we discovered a pattern. Her pattern was to assume a helpless victim mentality so she could let herself off the hook and not do anything to change her circumstance. In doing so she didn't have to feel bad about being lazy because from her mindset, there was nothing she could do about it.
And each situation she kept repeating, there's nothing I can do - I didn't create the weather, I cant control the traffic, I cant make my boss be kinder.....Victim mentality.
After about 18 examples even she began to see the pattern. And then- She had her lightbulb moment. Awareness brings with it the responsibility of desired change. So, we began to Find the Good. She began to realize that most things in life are neutral. We, by our thinking, make them good and bad. A knife is just a knife. It's great beside a fork, not so great in an angry 3rd graders backpack (unless that kid brought steak for lunch).
When you know that you get to decide, when you know the power is within, you begin to see clearer,you begin to see solutions....you begin to Find the Good!
Question and thought to ponder
What happened today? What good can come of it? DO you spend more time discussing the problem, or discussing the solution?